It may seem a surprising thing to say, considering recent blog entries, but in my case it is true.
This 12 hours of class a week + RA job + tutoring thing just isn’t working out. I need more things to do.
Here’s my reasoning: I am, by nature, rather lazy. I only do what is required to achieve my desired result. Granted, my desired results are of a higher caliber than those of many people… In my classes, I will get As. In my job, I will work to please my bosses and do what is required of me to gain their trust in me as a person and an employee. I *will* make the prettiest monthly bulletin board! (A requirement of my job, strangely enough.) But by and large these things don’t take much of my time or effort. A few hours here, a few hours there, and the rest of the time I spend in front of the computer on my bum reading, drawing, and accidentally learning Japanese from subbed anime episodes.
I am smart. …I am *really* smart. I am not a genius, but am close enough to make classes and pretty much any mental task far easier than it is for the majority of people. I happen to learn very quickly, and retain what I think is interesting (I don’t find grammar interesting, unfortunately). That’s all… But that fact means I rarely have to do more than go to class and read through my notes once the night before the test to get my A. (If I get too arrogant in real life smack me. I don’t want to be one of those dreadfully annoying smart people.)
Last semester I complained a lot about my CVA class since it was harder than any other class I’ve taken before. This just meant I spent 8-12 hours the day before lecture exams memorizing the notes. Other than that, I just went to class and took notes. The lab was a slightly different story, but mainly because I slacked off on the first two lab exams and didn’t put much effort into studying. But! Getting an A in that class was far more satisfying than any other A I’d received before. Why? I actually had to work! I’d *never* studied that much for any test or class… It was strange, tiring, and frustrating most of the time. However, I have a positive overall memory of the course.
The problem with this semester is that I have too much free time and not enough stuff to fill it. The free time makes me lazy and complacent; I’m still stuck in my summer mode. This attitude is fine when I don’t have anything due for a week (which I often don’t). Buuut whenever I finally have to do something it’s very hard for me to shake my lazy feelings. It’s hard to focus on what I need to do, so I end up wasting hours doing stupid things. So, I end up having to do huge assignments that I’ve known about for weeks the day / days before they’re due. This is bad and leads to much freaking out. I still get everything done, but at the expense of my sanity and sleep schedule for the day(s).
So that’s the situation. I think I’ll ask my honors professor Tuesday to give me more stuff to do with more concrete deadlines. If I can get back into the habit of working at least a little each day then things will go back to normal and I’ll finally be able to shed my summer attitude.
I’m the human equivalent of a border collie. You need to keep me entertained or I’ll start growling, eating the chickens, and chewing up your shoes.
